The Dead...Will Rise! (2009)

The Dead…Will Rise! (2009)

 The Dead...Will Rise! (2009)

The Dead….Will Rise!‘ is a low budget, independent zombie movie directed by Brandon Salkil and Jordan Salkil.

My biggest pet peeve for movie reviews is when the writer declares that this film is the worst film they have ever seen. All that makes me think is that they haven’t seen very many movies. Well, I have watched thousands of films from every genre and every budget, and I can honestly say that this is one of my Top 3 Worst Films Ever Made. (There are a couple on the The Basement: Retro 80s Horror Collection that occupy the other two spots.) I thoroughly enjoy low-budget horror; the fun and campiness make for a good night in my house. However, there is no fun to be had with The Dead… Will Rise!, unless your idea of fun is strapping your roommate to a chair and making them watch terrible films as a form of cruel and unusual punishment for theft of the last beer.

According to IMDB, this movie is about some giant evil corporation releasing a zombie virus in a small town, and a group of friends and a reporter film the undead army. Honestly, I didn’t even get that much out of it. There is what seems like two or three different people filming things for no reason: a random dude who got a “nice” camera for his birthday, another guy who recently got a camera from his girlfriend, and a “news crew” assigned to report on a protest of some kind of plant. Birthday boy’s buddies all keep exclaiming that his new camera is “so nice”…it is not.

The Dead...Will Rise! (2009)

The Dead…Will Rise! (2009)

Excuses can be made for the couple; they’re young, she probably couldn’t afford a decent camera for her boyfriend. The news team must work for the least-funded station in the country. I was recently informed by some fellow cinephiles that some filmmakers have been experimenting with shooting using camera phones; since this “film” is set in 2010, I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt and say maybe it was shot with a bad camera phone from five years ago.

The “trivia” for this movie says that they didn’t have a script. That is shocking. I really have little idea what anyone’s name is, what they do, or why I should care about any of it because there very obviously was no damn script. Don’t get me wrong, improvising is a beautiful thing in the hands of talented performers. These are not talented performers. They are not even trying to act. It’s like if you rounded up some random guys you went to high school with (who weren’t in drama or A/V) and made a movie, except worse. Really, that’s insulting the people I went to high school with.

The Dead...Will Rise! (2009)

The Dead…Will Rise! (2009)

The documentary Zombie Girl (2009) follows a 12-year-old girl, Emily Hagins, through the process of living out her dream of making a zombie movie. Emily’s film, Pathogen (2006), is better than The Dead…Will Rise. She at least wrote a script, storyboarded and thought about shots, made an attempt at make-up and special effects, and got the best performance possible out of her friends and family. If you are really in the mood for a no-budget horror film, you are better off with Pathogen.

Watch ‘The Dead…Will Rise!’ below:



Written by: Danielle Beauchea