“Life’s a bitch and then you die. Usually.”
So opine the opening frames of Chopper Chicks in Zombietown, a Z-grade movie released by schlock factory Troma, and directed by Dan Hoskins.
Shortly after those words grace the screen, a group of bad-ass biker chicks known as the Cycle Sluts ride into a no-horse town and are immediately shunned by the simple townsfolk. You know, basic movie stuff.
Turns out the town is home to two incredibly great conceits for a genre trash movie: An evil scientist who kills the townsfolk, and turns them into zombies in order to make them work in an irradiated mineshaft just because he is a self-professed meanie, and a bus full of blind orphans who smoke.
Whilst it may take you awhile to compose yourself after the pure gold of that previous sentence, the movie does not really make much of this premise. Such random strangeness is par for the course for Troma, but they fail to capitalize on this one unique thing in the film…..and even by Troma’s low standards and love for ‘bad-taste’, it is a surprise that they fail to milk it more for its full comedy potential.
Wanting to be a “horror-comedy”, the first entrance of the zombies is totally played off for laughs – and after killing a child, they bust out of the mine in a dirge-like march that is scored literally by a slide whistle.
The problem with all genre fare is that very little of it is really worth watching. Despite its sense of fun, Chopper Chicks in Zombietown, is not much different and you quickly get the sense that the filmmakers came up with a fun and crazy idea, but then had no idea how to spend the hour or so between its bookending scenes.
The image of the biker chicks riding into town is cool enough, and the finale where the Sluts lure the undead into a church and then proceed to blow it up, and then go riding off into the night after roping the blind orphans into their gang is gonzo, but the time spent exploring the weird town and the individual members of the Sluts are repeatedly rejected and we are forced instead to watch a variety of uninteresting halves of sex scenes.
Not even a whip/knife fight can spice up the action enough.
The zombies themselves are not particularly interesting either, as the makeup makes the creatures look merely like they need a good face-washing and not like decaying corpses. The carnage and violence that is created when the Sluts finally start kicking-ass looks less like visceral gore and more like red tissue streamers falling out of mannequin limbs.
Other than watching bikers hang out with midgets and blind orphans, and an acting role for a very ‘early in his career’ Billy Bob Thorton, you should probably skip right on over Chopper Chicks in Zombietown as it is very much a product of its Troma upbringing.
Basically: If it is from Troma and it is not The Toxic Avenger, you are fine not watching a single minute of it.
Watch the trailer for ‘Chopper Chicks in Zombietown’:
Watch the full movie:
Written by: JJ Perkins